find your Boaz, (or wait patiently for him to make a move)
This may sound really uppity collegiate, but as my art history professors asserted: the male gaze is a powerful thing. I know how it feels to feel oppressed and threatened by a simple look. I know many good men, but right now I would love to know a good guy who would consider me his girl and make it his business to go to battle for me.
That sounds so much like the girl I used to look down on. But I HATE it that some men, bad men, think they can look at you whenever they feel like it, that you somehow belong to them in this way just because you are unaccompanied. I'm not just talking about creepy muchacho. I mean when we are stopped at intersections. I mean when we are walking down the street. I mean those guys who lean over the railings at malls and stare. If you run from the look, you feel weak. If you confront it you are left feeling shaken and not necessarily empowered. In some ways this is an exaggeration, but this aspect of my life lately has felt a lot bigger than I ever thought it would be.
I meant to write about other things. Like how I am actually disappointed in Lost, or about how I can listen to Rachael Yamagata's Happenstance over and over again.
That sounds so much like the girl I used to look down on. But I HATE it that some men, bad men, think they can look at you whenever they feel like it, that you somehow belong to them in this way just because you are unaccompanied. I'm not just talking about creepy muchacho. I mean when we are stopped at intersections. I mean when we are walking down the street. I mean those guys who lean over the railings at malls and stare. If you run from the look, you feel weak. If you confront it you are left feeling shaken and not necessarily empowered. In some ways this is an exaggeration, but this aspect of my life lately has felt a lot bigger than I ever thought it would be.
I meant to write about other things. Like how I am actually disappointed in Lost, or about how I can listen to Rachael Yamagata's Happenstance over and over again.
posted by Elizabeth at 11:43 AM
3 Comments:
wow...i never realized that women (even strong confident women like ms. eliza) felt intimidated by men like that...seriously...you've given me something to think about...what do you think could be done to help women feel less intimidated by random guys who project a feeling of "ownership" on the women? is this a common feeling?
George -
I think I am extra sensitive to these kinds of things right now, what once was mildly uncomfortable now feels icky and threatening... but I think other women know what I am talking about. A friend emailed me and said she did...
As for what can be done, I really don't have an answer. Change society/culture?
e
is there anything i (or anyone else for that matter) can do to help you feel more empowered and less threatened?
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