they don't call me missng for nothing

On Friday and Saturday I was fortunate to spend some quality time with three of my best friends. One lives in North Carolina and the other lives faaaar away in Long Beach, immersed in her MD residency. And I am lucky enough to see Maybe at least five days a week.

Sunday I spent some time with people but was mostly alone. Mostly lonely. It was Father's day and sitting by myself in my parent's house I felt acutely the absence of my brother (in China, not coming back anytime soon), my father (somewhere in Southeast Asia), and my mother (at work). The people who often explain my existence. Like Kadie, my 8 month old goddaughter. She is so happy and content to be with her mommy and daddy. I watch her squirm a bit in the arms of others and I feel like I can relate.

It could have been the need to balance the exuberance and joy I am currently experiencing with a bit of good ol' melancholy. Maybe I felt life and decisions speeding up and the future (albeit a great one) coming at me like a Mack truck with it's brakes cut. (That makes it sound like a bad thing. It's not.) Having the people who are so precious to me far away in places like North Carolina, Long Beach, China, Southeast Asia, Washington DC, Seattle, and the Bay Area must be wearing on me a little.